Category Archives: Uncategorized

When I returned to the room, I was accosted by a periwig-clad fop brandishing a flintlock pistol. Turns out, I’d been mistakenly given the Flignitz Corp – USA® Duel Action Baby Wipes. It’s a mixed blessing: Though Eli’s rear is … Continue reading →

… I thought it sounded like the name of a kosher deli in the deep South. “Billy Reuben’s: Best Schmaltz South of the Mason-Dixon. Shalom, Bubba!” Must’ve been hungry. (Originally posted to Facebook on March 1, 2015 at 8:12 AM)

Parent 1: Hey, look at our boy’s oxygen saturation! It’s 98%! Parent 2: Pretty good! Parent 1: Pretty good?!? Try “awesome,” babe. WAY better than that Snordbaum kid. He’s only 92%. Parent 2: Yeah, but he just got here yesterday. … Continue reading →

… I’ll enter him in some competitive eating contests. Or at least take him to those all-you-can-allegedly-eat buffets. A man’s got to test his limits. (Originally posted to Facebook on February 28, 2015 at 12:48 AM)

He just simultaneously did jazz hands, pooped his trousers, and kung-fu kicked me in the ribs while eating. Need to work on his social graces. (Originally posted to Facebook on February 28, 2015 at 12:09 AM)

At least, not to my knowledge. (Note to self: Research adult fatalities resulting from exposure to baby urine.) (Originally posted to Facebook on February 27, 2015 at 7:23 PM)

(Originally posted to Facebook on February 27, 2015 at 10:45 AM)

I’m remodeling this blog. My dumb math jokes and thoroughly unimpressive (and poorly maintained) “SQL Query of the Day” aren’t worth keeping around–the few people who would have appreciated them have gone on a permanent fishing trip and/or won’t talk … Continue reading →

Here’s a nifty vid from Khan Academy proving that the harmonic series diverges: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yyLfrsSXQQ. Summary: Construct another series S with each term consisting of a power of 1/2 but less than or equal to its corresponding term in the geometric series G, i.e.: … Continue reading →

As you may already know, I can’t listen to songs without skeptically questioning the stories behind them. I dunno, maybe I should’ve been a police detective or something. One story I’ve always wondered about is “Saturday in the Park,” by … Continue reading →